My corner

God has a grandeur plan for all of us. This is incontestable statement and could not be subjected to any canny arguments. He pictures a fruitful life to everybody. He desires a royal indulgence for His creations. Jesus longs for richness and glory during the short stint of our stay in the surface of the Earth. He foresees our existence with adequate nourishment. He designs the bits and pieces of our mortal body with aesthetic value. He envisions abundance of basic necessities for every soul. A desirable life. One but perfect life.

But we also need to succumb the elementary fact that we are not infallible mankind. We are bound to commit mistakes that are fully revealed before the Lord. We create building blocks which keeps us away from Him. There is no hidden transgressions in Him for He has every details of our actions even before we commit it. That, we often fail Him and come short of His expectations and plans. Nobody is righteous.

This is primarily becuase of the thorns under our flesh. A chain in our humanity which triggers us to deviate from the bountiful path He has designed of us. That out of this semantic, we are reminded that each one of us has individual weaknesses and personal limitations. A dark side of us that hinders us to achieve the plans Jesus has prepared for us.

Jesus' wisdom is really beyond the depth of our knowledge. Life could really turned out to be frustrating an even more depressing. The dilemmans coupled with the never ending struggles led us to stumble sometimes. We tend to seek quick relief from the suffering of life. We resort to immediate rooms of vindication because of self-reliance.

But Jesus wanted us to appreciate things the way He has in mind. He prays that we seek His provision first and foremost. He has the complete answers in this journey of life. The strengthened faith supplicated with unwavering dependence in Him is the key to unlock the puzzling quest of eternity. He desires that we continue to strive in His likelihood that is embraced with His grace alone. That we value patience and persistence to the promises He has bestowed upon us.

At the end of day, He will then uproot the thorn in us, painlessly and blamessly. In which, we will indulge the eternal bliss with Him.

I had my first big blow of life when my younger sibling flunked the nursing board taken last December 2007. It was last month when the successful examinees were released and I was one of the intruders who caused enormous traffic at the nursing site few seconds when the announcement was made public. The news was really saddening and devastating. I was still in work when a dear friend notified me shortly, thru SMS, that the result was already posted. I could still vividly recall how a sudden rush of emotions conquered me. It was so drastic that I failed to head over the heartbreaking stroke of fate. I was so unprepared to endure a poignant condition right at the corners of my workplace. I could not masquerade from the discomfort of pain for my sister. I even emailed my special friend to vent the sudden plate in me. I was really so broken.

In the midst of my trouble, I sought the Divine intervention. I prayed fervently that He will give me wisdom and enlightenment. That, He will lift my stumpy spirit and that He will give me His adamant comfort. That, He will bless me and reveal more of Himself in that heightened intuition of stumbling.

Indeed, Jesus did not fail me. He attended to my prayers so quickly and composed my shattered thoughts. He led me to His living scriptures for a better connection. Right at our pad, Jesus moved majestically when I caught myself going through the life of King Solomon in which the latter pleaded for a discerning heart to govern the Lord’s kingdom. Jesus in return, gave wisdom to Solomon and even granted him more than he was asking, including richness and honour. I felt that His hands were really not short and His were really not dull to hear me. He sincerely talked to me completely. He replenished the consumed energy and He gave me revelations more than I was expecting.

October of 2001, already more than six years ago, I also had my faith tested when I did not hurdle the licensing examination relevant to undergrad course during the fist attempt. For few days, I experienced the diminished self-esteem to the point of casting blame to Him. I was so radical and even questioned the Lord’s impartiality. Yet, I came to realize that life has to move on and should not be halted prematurely because of uncertainties He alone is capable of comprehending. At the end of the day, I eventually crossed the borderline of mediocrity.

My sister, I believed, is engaged in a more focused study habits nowadays in preparation for the June examination. I often give her encouraging reminders and perks once in a while. My uncompromising support as brother is present round the clock. My plans might have gone some stretching, but I am more learned in life and have stronger confidence Above.

I have already topic overload in mind - enough to awaken me from hibernating since the last time I posted. Probably, my four-day vacation just gave me the opportunity to once again entertain multitudes of frustrating and flattering events in my life. The boredom coupled with soft blows of life paved the way for me to think intuitively again. Admittedly, I can't subdue the ironies and the very nature of life’s complexities that continuously savor my world. It’s like a shadow that conceal from the radiant sun that keeps on chasing me.

Inspite these elusive opportunities, there is an eccentric attitude in me. I noticed that there was no synergy between the brain and the hand. That I couldn’t grasp the appropriate words to even complete a simple sentence. I observed open ended phrases needing thought completion. That, the delete and backspace functions of my laptop were more utilized than the QWERTY keyboard. That there were more blank stares to my monitor than the number of strikes to each letters. Though, there were no trashed files in my recycle bin, I have mounting dilemma amidst all of this.

Honestly, I refrain from the idea that the zeal in me already started to diminish. I still don’t want to entertain the notion that this blogging was just an impulse or was more a result of accidental discovery more than a month ago. I try to wrestle the insinuation that virtual network is not my vocabulary. And, I make myself deaf to the impression that I’m just one of the wannabes out there.

At any rate, I remain optimistic. I still give myself a good reasoning beyond the long period of silence. I try to consider that the dormancy period was just part of the overhaul process ahead of a more distant travel. That it was a ground protocol and an arsenal in the battlefield where enemies are all masquerading in their own identity. I also keep stirring justifications to rekindle the passion to stay connected. I even embrace valuable insights from friends and colleagues to be rewired again.

At the end of the day, I pondered that there is no hard and fast rule in this interest. I impose the do’s and dont’s by myself. I make unwritten policies that have no equivalent repercussion on my part. It is self serving at all. My utmost priority is nurturing the welfare of no less than by me. No pressures outside. Thus, I could try to switch-off and switch on, any day and anytime.